My open Heart!

My open Heart!

My open Heart.

Is your heart open? This can have different meanings for all of us. I ask myself this question more often now. The reason I ask more often is a check in , to see if I am paying attention where I need to! I do believe this is a practice and will continue to do this as life is always changing and never free from hurt. The difference is how we choose to perceive it!

I thought mine was open before! I thought I was kind and helpful and loved well!! Then BANG< one of those painful life moments comes along and we SLAM the door shut on our hearts. My heart was “broken” so I thought. I don’t use that term anymore, learning that those words are powerful and no longer wish to create that “broken heart”. 

We have all had those life altering moments. More than once, each time swearing that was the last time” I would let that happen to me”.

 This attitude of the victim I found very destructive. The detail isn't important to share but the lesson I learned is! I say all this with love and hope to help someone else the way someone has helped me. I am very honest and sometimes that isn't received well. Bear that in mind as you keep reading. Feeling sorry for myself at times was one method, why me, how dare they do that to me, I don't deserve this .All words that I had spoken in the past. I will be so tough from now on, no dating ever again, and so on!!!All this got me bitter, lonely and angry, and also physically unwell.

 I don't remember the exact moment, however I saw it. I had enough of feeling sorry for myself and didn't like how it felt to be so angry. That's when I decided to change it. I have worked with many practitioners over the years as I am also a natural health practitioner myself. That may be a shock ,hearing about the negative path I was on. We all have our story though! This is how I became a practitioner, a self healing journey !!I researched, read books, tried many methods ,took tons of courses too. What ever path you have taken to get you here, it's not wrong, It's your story. I truly believe life is about finding harmony. Finding the space within ourselves to allow for good days and bad. I didn't always think that way. 

When we know better ,we do better! There was a time when the hurt was so bad I thought my life would never get better(Older and wiser now, hahaha!)

In the past I thought I would not allow anyone close to me, no more pain. I thought I was getting stronger, smarter! Don’t share with people they can't judge me then. Don't share your opinion, no arguments, don't share feelings, I got this!! I am so tough!!!LOL! Wow, I seriously caused myself so much pain with this method. I lost relationships, jobs, and friends. I was well protected in my carefully built brick wall world. I thought I was strong, and independent. In contrast, I was lonely, sad, and angry. Life was not fun anymore. Great job I had done. Spent some time beating myself up also!! 

The Contrast. 

This is what I love to use as part of my decision making process now. Seeing both sides, a new perspective. Seeing that there are two sides to every situation, more than one point of view and that's okay. Say that again,it's okay to have another point of view! 

Choice was something I discovered. Yes!!! I have a choice. And more than one, woo hoo!

I also began to practice forgiveness, first of others then of myself. That one I still work with! Obviously these topics could each go on forever. 

This is also part of my healing, talking to you! I am still growing and learning everyday! I am learning to take that brick wall down, one brick at a time. Patience and understanding for myself and others that it is not a perfect journey also. Listening to the little nudges that may set it back from time to time. 

One of my favorite methods is asking questions, being honest about my answers .

Why is this upsetting me? 

How does this make me feel?

How can I approach this differently? 

Is there another way to say or do this? 

Why? Repeat till I get an answer. 

I have had a good laugh some days when I say it out loud at how obvious the answer is!!

The next part is to take action. Sometimes it happens right away, sometimes I have to process what my discovery of why was. Be kind and patient with yourself. Here are a few tips that I use to heal my heart, and process my emotions!!

Write it down, make a list. 

Write down small steps that you can take that will help change this feeling or situation.

Ask for help.

Ask for help.

One more time…..ask for help!! 

I have a confession, it took me a lot of attempts and several drafts to write this. It is part of my heart healing. Sharing my truth. I find it can be very healing to hear that there are other people out there going through some challenges also. We are not alone. Yes, we all have those moments when you want to tuck your head back under the covers and not deal with it!!! Allow yourself that to, then take steps!

 If you are reading this, thank you .I am cheering you on also. 

With my heart open, I experience joy in the little things, new friends, great love, a great life! I am getting to know myself and I kind of like me!!! I hope you enjoyed this too! 

Thank you from my open heart! 

Xoxo Carmen

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